Mark Hortsman’s second critical behavior in The Effective Manager is communicate about performance. The… Worst…! It is a skill that is definitely easier for some people than others. I love feedback about myself. I even love constructive feedback about myself but ask me to give it to others… the struggle is real!
Multiple reasons exist:
- I can’t find the right equation that works every time. 1+1=2 but feedback+person=great reception isn’t guaranteed. Oh, the variability of the person sitting across the table from you.
- People pleaser. Pretty self explanatory here.
- Uncomfortable situations. Let’s be clear. For me, probably not for the other person.
I always have to frame it up from the opposite situation. Do I want feedback? Yes. Do I want to achieve even more? Better? Faster? Yes, yes and YES! What kind of feedback do we get on veterinary student feedback when looking for a new job? Mentors. And mentors give feedback WITH the best intention of the other person in their heart.
If this is the case, why are we so afraid of giving feedback to others?
I think when it comes down to anything that might be uncomfortable or nerve wracking, the best thing to have is a plan AND a deadline.
Deadline: Yep, deadline. Real deadline. Something you set up even before you have a plan because it will force your hand. Penguins on the edge of an iceberg! You know what I’m talking about. They eventually push the penguin closest to the edge overboard to swim in the ocean. The pending deadline will help you jump off of the edge yourself into the ocean.
Plan: Classic The Dark Knight Joker quote, “You know…. You know what I’ve noticed? Nobody panics when things go according to plan. Even if the plan is horrifying.” Ignore that last piece about horrifying; your plan will not be horrifying. But it’s honestly true. If we create a plan, your body’s anxiety center will have a less likely chance to be triggered. Reducing anxiety allows your brain to respond to changes in the scenario and think! Creating a blueprint when planning important or complex feedback will really help frame it out and ensure you are clear and convey the best of intentions.
Order of business. Come up with a Deadline. Come up with a Plan. Rewatch the Batman movies!
Pigs and People 